How A Horse Helped Two People Be Less Hard on Themselves

One of the sweetest animals I ever met was Ms. Beverly Chapman’s beautiful Etoh (pronounced Ectoo), may Etoh rest in peace.  

Recently, I discussed how being hard on ourselves can cause problems.  It’s one thing when a person tells you this but quite another when a horse tells you.  

A number of years ago, a person who was very hard on himself and I (and I too am told I have been overly hard on myself) were visiting her farm.  We were taking a walk and found ourselves pausing at Etoh’s pasture.  

Etoh came over to us, looked at us, and started scraping her flank on the fence.  Her skin was coming off and turning red, and it was clear that she was hurting herself.   Clearly, she had a message for us; we just had to figure it out.

You see, many horses have amazing healing abilities.  Furthermore, many such horses may have a particular “medicine” or specialty— not unlike human doctors.  In other words, some horses have may have a special strength in helping people to have better relationships; some can help people become better leaders; many help us with emotional issues, etc.  Etoh’s medicine was forgiveness.

One of the ways horses help people heal is they often help us to “see” ourselves.  Etoh was hurting herself.  Connecting the dots with what she was doing and her medicine of forgiveness, I realized that she was hurting herself to show us that we were too hard on ourselves and that we had to stop doing this and forgive ourselves for our real and imaginary wrong-doings.   

The moment this understanding dawned on me, I shared it with the person I was with.  We both saw the truth in what Etoh was trying to help us see and broke down in tears.  At which point Etoh stopped hurting herself and walked away.  

Etoh was a beautiful, giving soul who was willing to absorb pain to help two people be free of unnecessary burdens they were carrying so they could be happier.  I am grateful.